Sometimes
you need to give up your faith to get faith.
What I don’t need is the kind of faith that is committed to what I
believe is the right way for things to go.
I must constantly guard my heart, mind and spirit from clinging to my
own rendition of faith. For faith to be
real, it has to be given by the Spirit of God, and not based on my own
understanding. Faith is sure of what is
unseen.
I can’t
move forward in faith until I recognize that I carry unexamined expectations of
where the road of faith will lead me. My
childish beliefs about faith must be laid aside if I am to grow in true
faith. Since God is always for me, my
faith might cause me to believe that everything will work out well for me and therefore
not so good for those who come against me.
When the opposite happens, my expectations reveal that I have faith in
my plan—not true faith. I will never
grow to true faith as long as I cling to childish faith, unexamined and
unquestioned regarding the harsh realities of this world.
Hebrews
11:1 is the definition of faith. Now faith is confidence in
what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Often it is the desire to see that creates
the childish faith I am trying to give up, yet it cannot be faith if you can
see it. Thomas Keating even goes so far
to say, The desire to feel God is a lack
of faith because God, in fact, is already here.[i] I must extend my soul beyond the boundaries
of my faith if I have any hopes of experiencing true faith. Faith is seeing God in everything that
happens and knowing that He is not looking the other way but that He is exactly
in the middle of everything. If He is
not acting, He is still giving me faith to believe in His purpose for His
inaction. Faith is at its deepest when I
believe in spite of not seeing.
I want to
believe that the one thing I can bring to the table in my relationship with God
is certainly my faith in Him. Not even
that is enough. Philippians 2:13 always
humbles me and drives this point home. For it is God who works in you
to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. The times that I have real and genuine faith
are because of God’s presence and God’s power.
I do not have the faith on my own.
I need faith to examine my lack of faith.
I
grow in faith as I give up my faith. I
move from a brownie point mentality with God that says if I do so many good
things I am sure to get a bonus for the week, into a mysterious adventure with
God who asks me to believe in His love even when nothing looks like He is
loving me, is there for me, has got my back.
This
is the journey of faith.
As
I let go of my faith, then I am able to experience the kind of supernatural
faith that only God can offer to a soul.
It is only in letting go of my faith that it becomes true faith. My mind can hinder my faith. I must move beyond understanding and seeing
to letting go and discovering the mysterious relationship and intimacy with God
contained in an experience called faith.
[i]
S. Stephanie Iachetta Ed. By, The Daily Reader for Contemplative Living
(Continuum: New York, 2005), p. 272.
Excellent piece - thanks!
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