I suppose
I could have prayed more. I know of
individuals who fasted for months and prayed for the bill I was working
on. I saw on social media that hundreds
of thousands were praying for the same request. We witnessed a true miracle. We prayed and worked together and moved the
bill along a little further than two years prior. It appeared that God had set it up to that we
had a small window to move it forward and time ran out. Disappointment, heartbroken, suspicious
thoughts were expressed.
Now there
is silence. What does this mean? How do we see God in the silence? What is the meaning of it all? Silence does not mean that God has not heard
our prayers and been moved by them. God definitely
responded to bring a group of people together for a common purpose to explain how
a law could benefit our state and correct the problem of mass incarceration for
which we are becoming famous. There was
no doubt that the Holy Spirit was empowering otherwise non public speakers to
speak clearly and passionately, even exposing their personal triumphs over being
victims of sexual crimes in the process.
It was raw, personal, factual testimony.
It worked. We knew we had the votes
to move forward, but time was not on our side.
Did God not understand that we wanted this bill to be voted into law in
this session?
My specific
prayer went like this, pass the committee, pass the calendar committee, voted
on positively in the House, pass the calendar committee, voted on positively in
the Senate, not vetoed by the Governor.
It can’t be that I was not specific enough. I’m sure others were praying that way too and
even if they weren’t God knows that we don’t know how to pray as we ought and
He empowers the Holy Spirit to reinterpret our prayers and help us in prayer
(Romans 8:26--In the
same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to
pray for, but the Spirit
himself intercedes for us
through wordless groans.)
God’s
silence is the answer we received for our prayers. God’s silence was not a “No.” The fact that we made progress by gaining the
positive votes shows that. God’s silence
was an invitation to trust Him more, to grow in our collective faith. We have two years to pray and work and grow
in faith.
In the
remake of Mary Poppins, Bert explains
to the children “Mary Poppins does not explain herself.” It’s similar here. It’s not that God does not explain Himself;
it is that He is so infinite that we cannot understand the intricacies. He explains that everything He does is out of
His love and justice. We can understand that.
In the
silence I see God’s goodness. I sense Him
calling out deeper faith. I sense Him
drawing me to recognize the victory that has been gained. I will trust the love of God. Romans 8:37-39. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who
loved us. For
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither
the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor
anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. I embrace the
silence as victory. I will continue walking
in the path toward the kind of victory that will be experienced by roaring cheers.
Yet I will not ignore the silent victory that draws out faith, trust and deeper
belief in the love of God.
Silence
speaks. Silence is an answer. Silence does not indicate that God is not
interested in my prayers. Silence is an invitation to grow in faith and love of
God.
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